Stay-at-Home Mom: One Year Anniversary


When I was growing up, I always knew I wanted a family but I was never “that girl.”  That little girl who always pretended to be a mommy to her dolls, that teen girl who always volunteered to babysit because she loved kids so much, that young lady who knew she wanted to stay home to take care of her home and children.  I’ve always been very education- and career-driven, and for a long time I was focused on how much I could learn and how far I could get in my field, more than anything else.  Then I got married and everything started to change four years ago when I had our first son.  I had to return to work after 15 weeks of maternity leave, which I know is way more than a lot of women get.  I was a complete wreck for the first few days, and then slowly it got a little better.  But it never stopped bothering me- I had a pain in my heart that couldn’t be filled by career goals or accomplishments.

Soon after returning to work, when our son was only four months old, we found out we were expecting again.  We hadn’t planned to have another child so quickly and the desire to one day stay home with my kids burned greater.  However it was not possible at the time due to financial obligations and my husband’s work arrangements then.  But I knew that one day, even though I didn’t know how or when, I would have the opportunity to stay home with my boys.

I wish I could tell you our fabulous plan for me being able to stay home- but I don’t have one.  Prayers were finally answered last year when my husband got a much better job which paid him what he really deserved.  After going over our budget and a LOT of double- and triple-checking, we decided that I would continue to work for a few months just to overlap our incomes and prepare for the big change.

Jen and Boys

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of when I said goodbye to corporate America and hello to full time mommyhood, and I wouldn’t change it for anything!  My former work environment was such that I was overworked and always stressed.  I saw my kids for a couple hours each night and missed out on a lot of things during that time.  They were in daycare from 7:45am-6pm and it seemed as though I barely knew my own kids.  Within a few weeks of quitting, the boys were acting different – more relaxed, more outgoing, more interested (even other family members commented on it).  And I was also much more relaxed and interested.  Now I know everything that happens in their lives and not because I’m hearing about it from someone else, but because I’m actually part of it.

MomChart

It did take me a little while to adjust to being a SAHM – for the first month or so I didn’t miss an episode of Dr. Phil or the Nate Berkus show while the boys were napping.  I had been so busy with my career for so long that I forgot what my hobbies and interests really were.  But thankfully it didn’t take long to get myself off the couch and start doing things… and a few months later, this blog was born.

If you’re contemplating being a SAHM and you have the ability to do so, I would highly recommend it!  You don’t want to fast forward twenty years and wish that you could go back and spend more time with your kids in their childhood.  And if you don’t have the ability or just don’t have a desire to stay home, then just cherish your children while you’re with them.  Don’t let the distractions of work interrupt quality family time.  I’ve never heard anyone complain about spending too much time with their kids!

BoysPicGG

I would love to hear your thoughts.

 Whether you stay home or go to work, what are some suggestions you have for focusing on your kids and being mentally present while you’re together?

Jen

CalmMom

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10 Comments on Stay-at-Home Mom: One Year Anniversary

  1. Susan
    April 6, 2013 at 5:58 pm (6 years ago)

    That brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for understanding that you need to enjoy your children while you have them.

    Reply
  2. Tasha
    April 6, 2013 at 6:15 pm (6 years ago)

    I love this post! A few years ago I quit a very secure government job to work part time the hours Tay was in school. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. She had been having behavior problems at school and daycare, and that coupled with my 55 hours a week plus school at night made for very rough evenings when I was at home. As soon as I started being at home, her behavior changed. Although the change was tough on our bank account, it was definitely worth it! I am so glad you love staying home!

    Reply
    • Jen
      April 6, 2013 at 9:45 pm (6 years ago)

      Tasha, so glad to have you visiting my blog! 🙂 I’m happy you shared your story- I knew that you had switched jobs a long time ago but I wasn’t sure why. It sounds like it was a good decision and I’m sure Tay loves having you around more!

      Reply
  3. Lynaea
    April 6, 2013 at 6:19 pm (6 years ago)

    I think you’re brave. Hooray to you for making a leap! It’s a beautiful one. Your blog is lovely.

    I stayed home with my five kids (actually, they’re still here and so am I, so I guess I’m still a SAHM), and I’m very glad. But I cannot be smug; It isn’t picture perfect. They’re not all angelic and neither am I, just because I made the choice to mother them this way (that used to bother me…I thought my staying home should somehow be a guarantee of kid stellar-ness and my own happiness). I do have some regrets (like… wish I’d focused more on my art and literary adventures), but I’m learning that life is a process, and there’s no way I could know what I do now without having experienced disappointments and mistakes.

    Bon Voyage, Sistah! Best of luck. Lynaea @ EveryDayBloom.com
    Lynaea recently posted…Thrifting: Good Will HuntingMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      April 6, 2013 at 10:07 pm (6 years ago)

      Thank you Lynaea. I do agree that just because someone chooses to stay home with their children does not mean life will be perfect. I often take some time to myself as “quiet time,” and I also use this blog as an outlet which helps. Likewise my kids spend time with their grandparents off and on throughout the week which is beneficial to all of us. Kudos to you for raising five kids to the best of your ability and learning from your experiences, and I hope that you now find time for pursuing your interests.

      Reply
  4. Jaime
    April 6, 2013 at 9:29 pm (6 years ago)

    Best job ever! Priceless! The season passes too quickly.

    Reply
    • Jen
      April 6, 2013 at 9:48 pm (6 years ago)

      Jaime, I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for your comment!

      Reply
  5. Erin
    April 9, 2013 at 8:56 pm (6 years ago)

    Congratulations! I, too, went from working mom who had never planned to be a SAHM to a full time Mama when we found we were expecting our 2nd. For us there was no plan-just God providing. Four more children later we are still relying on Him for our daily bread but I would never go back to leaving my babies for 8-9 hours every day! In fact, we later pulled them out of public school to homeschool, something I swore I would NEVER do. I just marvel at how my priorities have changed-from goal minded career woman to homeschooling Mom of six-wow!

    I love hearing other Mom’s stories about turning their hearts towards their children.

    Reply
    • Jen
      April 9, 2013 at 10:03 pm (6 years ago)

      Erin, thank you for sharing your experience. When I was young I had preconceived notions about what a stay at home mom really was and all of those changed as I matured. It’s awesome how much our perspective can change as we experience different things, especially having children. Mine are still too young for school and I haven’t yet decided what to do, but my sister homeschools her son. How admirable it is for you to stay home with 6 kids and homeschool them all! I’m sure your home is filled with lots of laughter and pleasant memories. 🙂

      Reply
  6. Rachelle
    April 12, 2013 at 8:44 am (6 years ago)

    Congrats! I became an unexpected SAHM 2 yrs ago when my husbands job moved us to a town where work was hard to find. I’ve been enjoying my 2 boys so much and am grateful for the opportunity while I have it.
    Rachelle recently posted…Super Easy DIY Jewelry HolderMy Profile

    Reply

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